Yes, I said it. They suck. Have you heard this poor excuse for a new single? I mean, it’s like their record label held them at gunpoint and said, “Listen, we need a hit, not for you all to do your best Bruce Springsteen impression and fail miserably.” This new song “Ready To Start” off of their upcoming The Suburbs is pretty accurately titled. They’re ready to start pissing me off and force me to kick a puppy or a homeless guy. It’s seriously godawful and lacking of any real creativity. The beginning riff is a ripoff of something that I just can’t think of right away. And that makes me even more pissed off.
So how about this? I write a faux letter of sorts to the Arcade Fire.
Dear Arcade Fire,
Please stop making this music. As I write this, my ears are bleeding and I’m taking four different prescriptions to keep the seizures your music causes at bay. You are not a gay clone of Bruce Springsteen. Enclosed, please find the picture of a dead bird. This bird did not die by being hit by a car. No, I happened to have my windows open playing your atrocious new single, “Ready To Start”, and it simply fell from the sky. If I believed in a God, I would take this as a sign to stop playing your music. Please go back to the days of Funeral and make me feel as though you care about what you make. Thank you.
Regards,
Walt Zink
Now, unfortunately I will be posting this poor excuse for a song.